"Ringing stinging,

Jerking like a nervous bird

Rattling up against his cage

Calls to me throughout the day

See the feathers fly"

- Cake, June 20, 2003

First iPhone Released: June 29, 2007

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Oh boy. As usual, I'm trying to avoid my phone, even subconsciously. The past few days have been especially bad. My life has been regaining momentum. But there's the ever present sapping of those 80+ notifications I wake up to per day. And the constant pinging. Yes, yes, maybe it's not quite so bad for you. I do get many, many messages from friends and family. But I sure do get a lot of other stuff, too. It appears 361 other things just from the past 24 hours, according to the Settings > Notification menu on my android. Yes, that's right. 361 times did a little annoying ping go off to grab my attention. That's not so great, right?

So, I kinda feel like I have to post this. As far as social media, a lot of you may have noticed my disappearance. Maybe you haven't, I don't know. At this point all of my "social media" usage is one on one messages with people. I used to post on my Snapchat story all the time. Now, I've largely vanished from the public eye.

Social Media is a Gambling Addiction

Part of that disappearance has been how busy I am. But a large part of it is I realized that at its core, the vast majority of social media is a gambling addiction. Refreshing for one more thread, scrolling for one more video. The next one might be good, then you can stop and go to bed or whatever. But in reality you only see those truly satisfying posts maybe, what, 5% of posts max? Probably closer to .5%. And then you gamble for another. That's all doomscrolling is, in my opinion, is a gambling addiction, except it's your time, health, and opportunities instead of cash. Especially since all that 5% usually does is give you energy to scroll again. And as a bonus, we all know how warped of a version of humanity we see, because we all recognize clickbait and antagonism gets broadcast more than anything else. And yet it's piped into our eyeballs 24/7.

Stepping out of the Game: Buy... *The Shit Phone*

My strat? In all seriousness, it's as simple as getting a second phone. A shitty one. And put it on vibrate; or, better yet, Do Not Disturb. And now you can actually have your ringer on the main one for important shit.

My second phone is a OnePlus 5t. It is $95 on eBay with Buy it Now listings (no worrying about auctions). A lot of online influencers will tell you to buy a flip phone or something. That's bullshit and we all know it. No regular person has the luxury of entertaining that. Really, though, you don't need to, just get a second one and toss all the distracting shit onto it. Snapchat Discord Facebook Signal etc? All on the shit phone. And then you can just turn it off when you need to.

The battery life is shit because it's from 2017 and not designed for 2024 apps. And guess what? That's great. Built in non negotiable time limit. It was the top of the line model at the time so is still powerful enough to run anything I need as long as I dismiss apps I'm not using. The screen is only passable compared to new phones, so content is nowhere near as beautiful, and therefore nowhere near as addictive.

I also don't have a phone plan for it. Wi-Fi only. It's great, when I'm out and about, I can only do phone calls text and email on my real phone. And music! And music. I have to actually pay attention to my surroundings and experience life. If I'm lonely, I phone call a friend or family. We should be doing that anyway, but we don't. No Do Not Disturb necessary; biggest reason I couldn't get away from stuff before is I was worried about getting an emergency call from family or friends while my phone is off. Give any of those people your real phone number. Just text them randomly, they'll live. I mean come on, one text from someone they'd probably like to talk to more, vs yet another TikTok notification? Which one do they really prefer? Both of you, just be honest.

And, if you want to go the extra mile, root the shit phone and get lsposed modules for all of your social media apps and you will probably be able to disable doomscroll features; I can in Snapchat, anyway, and there are modules for facebook and telegram as well, off the top of my head.

Celebrity Status

Another thing? This is something rich people do!!! Bill Murray, Tom Cruise, Elton John, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michael Cera, Dolly Parton, and George Clooney all have their agent contact them if someone needs something, and otherwise have no phone. And guess what, they're successful as fuck. Being a celebrity is stressful enough as it is, and with all the death and destruction we get beamed directly into our retinas day in and day out, life is stressful enough for Gen Z, too. Plus we have to make ends meet, which they don't. And usually our work is far less fulfilling, far lower paid, or both. You really owe this to yourself.

Really reflect for a few minutes. $95 dollars? With free shipping? Is getting some control over the constant soul sucking draw of social media and notifications commanding your attention worth $95 dollars? For me it sure was. Oh boy, did I get so much more productive, and did I enjoy relationships and daily life sooooooooooooo much more. Just take the plunge.

Maybe look for free returns, try it for 14 or 30 days or whatever.

Numbers

Shit Phone: 253 Notifications in the last 24hrs Main Phone: 57 Notifications in the last 24hrs

Perfect? No. But I get 22.5% as many notifs on my real phone as my shit phone. Wow does it make a difference.

Bonus Round

Unsubscribe from some fucking emails, guys. Seriously. A lot of the ones you feel like you're "forced" to be subscribed to have multiple mailing lists (shipping and delivery alerts, targeted ads, shopping cart followups, etc.) and you can axe a few and get yourself some peace and quiet. It's simple. Get an email that sucks. Open it. Scroll to the bottom. Click unsubscribe. Gain some peace of mind. Really, it's great.

Thank you for your time,

Seb <3